Roommates

http://livinginurletters.deviantart.com/

You know...

I've had some roommates in my day.

I've had ones that I dealt with, ones that I could stand, and ones that I loathed entirely.

Never have I had roommates that I adored the way I adore my roommates now.

Case In Point:

The other day Amy and I were sitting in her bedroom on the computer while the other roommates were in the living room when - very randomly - this conversation happens:

Roommates: "ANDREA!!"
Me: "WHAT?!"
Roommates: "Come here, we need your expert advice."
Me: "About what?"
Roommates: "Douches."
Me: "What about them?"
Roommates: "What is it?"
Me: "It's a bag of water that you squirt in your butthole or your vagina to clean it."
Roommates: "How does it work?"
Me: "You put the tip of it in your vagina or your butthole and you squeeze it, forcing the water into you."
Amy: "Unless you're a nasty bitch you shouldn't need to use one anyway."
Roommates: "Well if you don't have one then how do you clean your vagina? When you're in the shower do you just stick your fingers in there, or what?"
Me & Amy: "NO."
Amy: "Really, you shouldn't use douches anyway because they mess with the pH levels. Your body naturally keeps itself pretty clean. You shouldn't be fucking someone if they need to use a douche."
Roommates: "Can you use it as a sex toy?"
Me: "Depends on your fetish."
Roommates: "Oh."
Me: "Are we done now?"
Roommates: "Yeah, we're good."

http://www.lolbrary.com/post/3759/she-said-whaaaaaat/

I love my life!!
If this isn't the most ideal environment for me as the author of this blog, then I don't know what the hell is. I get stuff to write about almost every day!
Now I just need to stop being so damn lazy and actually post...
it's amy's fault blame her

Present!

My little homoettes!

I have been gone for so long!

I have missed you so!

http://devanndesousa.deviantart.com/

I've published an old draft post that's been sitting in the backroom of my blog for quite some time now in hopes that it will hold you over until the next time I can post. I love you guys! Please excuse my absence. A lot of crazy shit has been going down and I'm currently in the process of an entire life upheaval. Want an update? Of course you do.

 

1. I'm single now. ;) Hey, ladies.

2. I'm moving a good 6-hours away from where I was living.
3. I'm currently staying with my parents for a couple more days.

Okay, so maybe that isn't that much crazy stuff, but those few things have got a lot of crazy in them. So please, if you could, forgive me for being gone so long?

 

http://hakukamizaki.deviantart.com/

 

So, I'm going to be living with my wonderful les-b-friend up in Salt Lake City, UT and her hetero-male roommate. From what I've been told, they have a constant competition going called "Man Points" where you get points for doing manly things. There's a score-board and everything. I am hoping that, once I've settled in, I will have plenty of material for the blog. I mean, come on. I'm single, I'm about to move in with a lesbian and a straight man, and I'm going to be meeting lots of new people and exploring lots of new places - coffee shops, dog parks - and, assuming that all goes according to plan, I will be going to school. Hello college campus ladies. ^.^

 

Anyway!
I don't really have much for you today, unfortunately.

However, if you ever need to crush a lesbian:

Show her Humane Society commercials.

That shit is lesbian kryptonite!

Pop Quiz!

Alright, ladies; no cheating!

Here goes:

Which picture is of a lesbian?

1)

2)

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Answer:

Trick question!

Both pictures are of the same woman.

[and i have no way of knowing if she is a lesbian or not]

Story Time:

So today I (finally!) went to get my hair cut. While I was waiting I picked up one of those hair books that is the only provided reading and was looking through the pictures when I realized something; all the short haircuts on display "this season" are totally lesbian haircuts. Apparently the lesbian "look" is in style and I can't help but worry if this is going to make our fellow lady-homos harder to spot than they already are.

I swear, we all need to just choose a bandana color and always have that color bandana on our person when we go out. Better yet, make it a rainbow bandana.

Vegas' First Ever Dyke March!

I've already talked extensively about us lesbians and how we couple-up and fall off the face of the planet. We all know that this makes it damn near impossible to know just how many lesbians are actually out there. Where the hell do all of our fellow lady-lovin'-ladies go? Well, wherever they go, they're coming back out for this:

www.shedonismvegas.com/las-vegas-pride-dyke-march/

I'm about to find out just how many Vegas lesbians there really are, and you know what?

I'M EXCITED!

I know I was already really excited about PRIDE in general, but this... Oh, this is a whole different chapter right here. These are my ladies; my people, if you will. These are other women who love women and they're going to march down 4th Street and I'm going to join them and there will be so much estrogen and holycrapi'msoexcited!!!

...I promise I'll have myself pulled together by then.

This should be an amazing opportunity to promote ThingsLesbiansDo and to become a part of history. I mean, come on... It's Vegas' first EVER Dyke March. The first Dyke March will never happen here again and here I am with absolutely nothing more exciting to do for the day.

So. Damn. Excited.

Yay! Camping!

Hey ladies!

I know I've kind of been gone for a while, but I've been busy with work and The Girlfriend and I totally went on an awesome camping trip where I obviously had no internet access. Real camping has no cell phone service at all. No connection to the rest of the human race.

That just reminded me:

Us Lesbians Love Camping!

Okay, so maybe it's the more butch end of the lady-homo spectrum that are more into camping, but still! I'm not sure if it's our feminism showing and our subconscious (or not) need to prove our ability to survive (and thrive, damnit!) without the opposite sex or if it's just something about the outdoors that appeals to us, but camping is where it's at for us butchier (and a few of the more lady-like) lesbos.

Also, the other day I saw another biscuit bumper in Wal-Mart and could. not. stop. staring. After admitting this to The Girlfriend and having her laugh at me, I realized that I have become such the stereotypical lesbian homebody that I revert into my baby-dyke-ness whenever I'm in a public situation. I completely forget how to be when there are other lesbians present.

What has happened to me?!

The Girlfriend and I have spent way too much time away from the rest of our kind and it is showing. If the lesbian I was staring at in Wal-Mart ever reads this: I'm sorry I was so awkward! I'm not really a baby-dyke, though I know I looked like one... I've been out and proud since I was like 13-years-old (2003). Please forgive my dumb-struck expression of complete awe... I sort of forget that other lesbians exist... >.>

Moving on.

LAS VEGAS PRIDE IS ONLY THREE AND A HALF WEEKS AWAY!

All of us Vegas homos can finally come out of hiding, take off the majority of our clothes, cover our skin in glitter and prance about among each other while we get drunk, watch drag queens doing Cher songs better than she ever did, get all the free rainbow condoms we could possibly want and just enjoy the general feel of enthusiasm and community.

More importantly, though:

I FINALLY GET TO BE AROUND OTHER GAYS!

Where they will welcome me with open arms and ass-less chaps and bull dykes on Harleys.

I know that us homos get a lot of shit for how eccentric we get at PRIDE events and I know that I've also voiced my negative opinion about how that eccentricity makes us look to the rest of the world, but damnit, right now I miss it.

So, Las Vegas PRIDE.

September 16th & 17th

The parade is the 16th and the festival is the 17th.

Be there?

LasVegasPride.org

FCKH8!

Finally here! Don't be hatin' on the homos.

posted from samsung continuum

Random Work Thought

I've noticed that people seem to think that all lesbians are really confident. This, of course, is not true. So why are we percieved that way?

Is it just because we're awesome? Or is it simply because we're "out and proud?"

I don't know about the rest of us lesbians, but I, for one, am far from confident. I'm insecure and emotional abd very sensitive, but most would never guess it. I can't be the only lesbian who fakes confidence in the hopes that it will fend off the haters. Or maybe I am...

In any case, I think lesbians (and homos in general) are seen as confident because we are out of the closet and many of us are prepared for an attack, therefor we always seem to have this "I'm here, I'm queer, get used to it" attitude about us at all times.

So just to set the record straight (or gay as the case may be) not all of us homos are confident, but we are still not the people you want to mess with.

Also: I'M TOTALLY POSTING THIS FROM MY AWESOME NEW SMART PHONE AND I LOVE IT! :D