Vegas' First Ever Dyke March!

I've already talked extensively about us lesbians and how we couple-up and fall off the face of the planet. We all know that this makes it damn near impossible to know just how many lesbians are actually out there. Where the hell do all of our fellow lady-lovin'-ladies go? Well, wherever they go, they're coming back out for this:

www.shedonismvegas.com/las-vegas-pride-dyke-march/

I'm about to find out just how many Vegas lesbians there really are, and you know what?

I'M EXCITED!

I know I was already really excited about PRIDE in general, but this... Oh, this is a whole different chapter right here. These are my ladies; my people, if you will. These are other women who love women and they're going to march down 4th Street and I'm going to join them and there will be so much estrogen and holycrapi'msoexcited!!!

...I promise I'll have myself pulled together by then.

This should be an amazing opportunity to promote ThingsLesbiansDo and to become a part of history. I mean, come on... It's Vegas' first EVER Dyke March. The first Dyke March will never happen here again and here I am with absolutely nothing more exciting to do for the day.

So. Damn. Excited.

Yay! Camping!

Hey ladies!

I know I've kind of been gone for a while, but I've been busy with work and The Girlfriend and I totally went on an awesome camping trip where I obviously had no internet access. Real camping has no cell phone service at all. No connection to the rest of the human race.

That just reminded me:

Us Lesbians Love Camping!

Okay, so maybe it's the more butch end of the lady-homo spectrum that are more into camping, but still! I'm not sure if it's our feminism showing and our subconscious (or not) need to prove our ability to survive (and thrive, damnit!) without the opposite sex or if it's just something about the outdoors that appeals to us, but camping is where it's at for us butchier (and a few of the more lady-like) lesbos.

Also, the other day I saw another biscuit bumper in Wal-Mart and could. not. stop. staring. After admitting this to The Girlfriend and having her laugh at me, I realized that I have become such the stereotypical lesbian homebody that I revert into my baby-dyke-ness whenever I'm in a public situation. I completely forget how to be when there are other lesbians present.

What has happened to me?!

The Girlfriend and I have spent way too much time away from the rest of our kind and it is showing. If the lesbian I was staring at in Wal-Mart ever reads this: I'm sorry I was so awkward! I'm not really a baby-dyke, though I know I looked like one... I've been out and proud since I was like 13-years-old (2003). Please forgive my dumb-struck expression of complete awe... I sort of forget that other lesbians exist... >.>

Moving on.

LAS VEGAS PRIDE IS ONLY THREE AND A HALF WEEKS AWAY!

All of us Vegas homos can finally come out of hiding, take off the majority of our clothes, cover our skin in glitter and prance about among each other while we get drunk, watch drag queens doing Cher songs better than she ever did, get all the free rainbow condoms we could possibly want and just enjoy the general feel of enthusiasm and community.

More importantly, though:

I FINALLY GET TO BE AROUND OTHER GAYS!

Where they will welcome me with open arms and ass-less chaps and bull dykes on Harleys.

I know that us homos get a lot of shit for how eccentric we get at PRIDE events and I know that I've also voiced my negative opinion about how that eccentricity makes us look to the rest of the world, but damnit, right now I miss it.

So, Las Vegas PRIDE.

September 16th & 17th

The parade is the 16th and the festival is the 17th.

Be there?

LasVegasPride.org

FCKH8!

Finally here! Don't be hatin' on the homos.

posted from samsung continuum

Random Work Thought

I've noticed that people seem to think that all lesbians are really confident. This, of course, is not true. So why are we percieved that way?

Is it just because we're awesome? Or is it simply because we're "out and proud?"

I don't know about the rest of us lesbians, but I, for one, am far from confident. I'm insecure and emotional abd very sensitive, but most would never guess it. I can't be the only lesbian who fakes confidence in the hopes that it will fend off the haters. Or maybe I am...

In any case, I think lesbians (and homos in general) are seen as confident because we are out of the closet and many of us are prepared for an attack, therefor we always seem to have this "I'm here, I'm queer, get used to it" attitude about us at all times.

So just to set the record straight (or gay as the case may be) not all of us homos are confident, but we are still not the people you want to mess with.

Also: I'M TOTALLY POSTING THIS FROM MY AWESOME NEW SMART PHONE AND I LOVE IT! :D

We Hate Boob Implants

Last night The Girlfriend and I were doing some channel surfing and found

The Hooters International Swimsuit Pageant.

Of course we started watching it and a game developed that I call Find The Real Ones.

The game is simple:

As each girl says her name and where she's from and then walks down the catwalk, you decide if her boobs are real or fake. Hint: For those of you who aren't very good at telling the difference between real, God-given boobs and fake, doctor-given boobs, just say fake for all of them. You've got about a 90% chance of being right.

While watching 100 Hooters women parade up and down the catwalk in barely-there swimsuits, I realized something about myself: I hated these girls. But why? I didn't even know these girls and would likely never know them, but it was true... I hated them. Now that I've thought it over a bit, I've come to the conclusion that I hate fake things and these girls seemed completely fake; like they had all been spit out of a machine from a single mold and plopped onto the stage with swimsuits and different colored hair. But what bugged me the most?

The implants.

I don't care if boobs are a D-cup or an A-cup or anything in between;

I WANT THEM REAL

I love women. I love boobs. I don't love robots and bags of saline. I find myself getting angry just thinking of all the women who willingly cut their beautiful breasts open and shove bags of saline into them, thinking that this will make them more appealing. Maybe it does make them more appealing to men, but us lesbians? Nah. I think the majority of us like 'em real. Maybe it's because of our natural feminist instincts (yes, we've all got some feminism in us) or maybe it's our complete hatred of being put on display for a man's benefit... Or maybe it's something else, but lesbians don't like fake boobs.

There's just something gross and unnatural about an 80-year-old woman with perky boobs...

Point made.

Homage For My Lovely Logo

Do we love our new logo?

({i})

Of course we do! And we have my favorite homo to thank for it.:

Meet Wade.

Wade and I have known each other for years and he is the most fabulous of all the gay men I have ever met. It is because of him that we have our wonderful logo.

Thanks so much, Wade!

I never would have picked a logo without you.

♥

Rulebook Revision: V.2

Rule #1 - Never Date a Bisexual

Rule #1 - Beware Bisexuals

Rule #1 - Beware Biflexibles

?

If you're confused, it's okay. So am I.

So, it has been brought to my attention that I have been confusing bisexuality with bisexual tendencies - yes, there's a big difference - and now that this distinction has been made clear in my head, I realize that my bisexual rule was completely misguided. Well, other than the fact that bisexuality is confusing. ;) I'll still stand by that statement.

[For the record, I'm only talking about women here.]

Those that are bisexual are far more trustworthy and genuine than those that are "biflexible" or those that like to kiss a girl every now and then just for the novelty of it. Those who treat bisexuality like it's some cool, attention-grabbing bandwagon are the ones that shouldn't be trusted. At least not in any form of a relationship. The "bisexual because it's neat" girls use bisexuality for the attention and little more.

For all my lesbians out there:

Stay away from the biflexible if you're looking for a relationship. If you're looking for a single night of fun at a club or a bar, then go ahead. Just remember that the hot, straight-looking girl giving you The Look while holding her boyfriend's hand is NOT relationship material and will royally fuck your mind if you try to make her relationship material. Also, any kind of "fun" you may be willing to have with her for a night will likely have to be where at least someone can see her, so keep that in mind. As soon as you try getting her alone, she's likely to lose interest. It's not fun for her if no one knows about it.

Keep in mind that there is also a difference between biflexible and bicurious. Although the phrase "bicurious" can also be abused, it is generally a term used for those who are serious about their bisexuality but have never been with another girl before and just aren't sure. Beware of the setting and the way that a girl tells you that she's bicurious in order to determine if it's being used in the place of biflexible or if she's genuine.

If you're at a bar and there is a plethora of people watching and she leans in with her drink in her hand and her breath so strong you could get drunk from it and she's giving you The Look and then she yells loud enough for everyone to hear, "Yeah! I'm bicurious!" Well, you're probably looking at a biflexible.

Now if you're in a more quiet place with less people around and the girl seems a little scared or embarrassed and doesn't really want other people to hear her say that she's bicurious and she's giving you that [adorable] look that has "sweet and innocent" written all over it? She's probably genuine and a bit fragile in that moment, so be gentle and take her seriously.

That concludes my second Rulebook Revision.

I really hope everything is clear now.

xD