Mar 10, 2011

First, the DON'Ts

Yes, I realize that this blog is titled "Things Lesbians DO" not "Things Lesbians DON'T DO" but I feel obligated to start with clearing up a few stereotypes.



1. PENIS ENVY

Look, the only reasons that lesbians want penises is 1) so that they aren't ridiculed for wanting women and 2) to pee standing up. We do not all want to be men, and even if we do want a penis, we can buy one that is far more reliable than the real thing. And they come in PRETTY COLORS!
2. FEMINISM
We are not all crazy, estrogen-overdosed, man-hating, anti-shaving feminists. Don't get me wrong here - we all love women and all kinds of women - but that doesn't make us all into extreme feminism.


3. KINKY SHEETS

I've noticed that many people assume that, because a woman is a lesbian, she must be into some really kinky shit.
Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah... No.
Hey, we all have something that we enjoy during "business hours" that could be considered "kinky," but come on! The most common assumption is that we will allow straight men to watch. If I hear one more person ask, "You ladies are gay, right? So... Can I watch? I won't touch, I swear!"... Heads will roll.

4. PEDOPHILIA
I'm not even going to find a picture for this one because it is seriously ridiculous and probably the most hurtful of the stereotypes I've heard.
For the homos out there; have you ever been hanging out with family/friends, someone there has a child, and when you're the one the toddler waddles over to with their newest toy or whatever and you can feel the air suddenly turn into something electrified and all eyes are on you?
It's happened to me, and it never fails to hurt. I want to be a mom one day, and just because you think that homosexuality is some grave perversion dooming me into an eternity in hell does NOT mean that I have every other perversion you can think of.
/rant
That being said, there are a few stereotypes that are stereotypes for a reason.
We'll get into that one later.

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